Summer tips for fun, cooperation, AND healthy development for kids and teens of all ages!
Summer is almost here, which means plenty of kid-hours to fill! If you're worried about their brains turning to mush or that you'll have to spend a fortune to keep them safely entertained, here are a few quick tips to have a summer that feels less stressful and supports your kids' and teens' healthy development.
Include your kids and teens in the planning and budgeting of activities.
Believe it or not, it's not your job to come up with every amazing idea and to keep your family constantly entertained and stimulated. Encourage your kiddos to brainstorm ideas about what they'd like to do this summer; collaboratively evaluate them based on criteria such as budgets, travel distance, weather, ages/abilities/preferences of everyone in the family, etc.; then make some decisions together.
Having a say in the process strengthens family and sibling relationships; fosters collaboration, negotiation, and consensus-building skills; encourages critical-thinking; builds awareness of the logistics and finances involved with planning; and creates a safe space to process disappointment when not everyone gets what they want all the time.
Have a daily "check-in" regarding schedules and body budgets.
Each evening, take a few minutes to discuss the following day's plans and schedules. Divvy up responsibilities among adults and kids/teens based on their ages and abilities; prep clothes, lunches, and other supplies like sunscreen/bug spray, etc.; and chat about anything that the kids are excited or nervous about. Doing this proactively in the evening creates quality time together when things are calm and everyone is regulated, rather than scrambling in the morning because someone can't find their sneakers, someone forgot to pack their snacks for camp, and someone didn't realize they were responsible for transportation that morning!
Taking a few minutes each morning to connect and engage in some body budget-boosting activities together before heading off to work/camp/childcare or beginning a day together at home sets everyone up for success. It can literally take as little as five minutes to read a story, play with the dog in the yard, snuggle on the couch, or eat breakfast together…and the benefits for family relationships are HUGE. It also gives parents a chance to take the emotional temperature in the household. If plans need to be changed based on body budgets, or weather, or a last-minute illness, this is the time to figure it out.
Ensure that your kids and teens are contributing to household chores.
Ideally, this is already happening all year round. If it isn't, then now's the time to establish some new habits! Even toddlers can contribute in meaningful ways to the household, and it has incredible benefits for their development.
In addition to the obvious benefit of building useful life skills that kids will need as they go through adolescence and prepare to leave your nest, the process of learning them develops concentration, a sense of order, problem-solving, balance, strength, and coordination.
Contributing meaningfully to the household fosters a sense of being capable and needed, which in turn builds confidence. Confident children and teens are happier, more flexible and cooperative, and more willing to take healthy risks.
The added benefit is that (once the children have developed the skills to do a decent job of cleaning the bathroom unassisted!) the grownups won't have as much work to do, and therefore have more time for fun and hobbies.
Encourage self-directed projects
So much of the school experience is about learning information to do well on a test…not about the joy of discovery, building new skills, and figuring out what kids and teens actually enjoy.
The freedom to explore the messiness of learning and making mistakes, without fear of judgement from peers and the assessing eyes of teachers, is a beautiful gift to give to your kids and teens.
Summer projects are an excellent way for them to explore art, music, drama, dance, writing, coding, building, cooking, baking, gardening…the list is only limited by their imaginations!
Encourage your kids and teens to think about something they're interested in or curious about, and let the fun begin!
Research and planning are crucial elements to the process. How much will it cost? What's their realistic budget? What skills will they need to learn to be successful? What timeframe is reasonable? Which grownups will they need to ask for help? How can they earn extra money to contribute to the purchasing of materials and supplies? So many things to consider, which develops useful skills in addition to the joy of exploration and discovery!
Collaborate on screen time rules.
The options for how screen time and device usage can look are as diverse as the people in each household, so I don't espouse "one size fits all" guidance.
The goal is to develop long term, healthy relationships with technology and with the people in your family, so anything that gets turned into a battle gets in the way of that goal.
One way to collaborate is to chat for a few minutes each morning to look at the schedule for the day and discuss what a reasonable amount of time would be based on the weather, what other activities are happening, how much parental supervision is required and available, how everyone is feeling, etc.
For example, on a rainy day when your kids are fighting a summer cold, already spent the whole previous day playing outside with friends, and you have back-to-back Zoom meetings to facilitate, more time spent on (age appropriate) video games or watching movies might feel reasonable for your family. Alternatively, if the day before was more of a "veg out" day, the weather is gorgeous, there are chores that your child is able and expected to do, and friends want to go to the pool for the afternoon, that might offer opportunities for a minimal-to-no-screentime day.
However your family chooses to collaborate, the key is for everyone to have a say in the process, even if they aren't getting exactly what they want in the end. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what’s in the best interest of your kiddos, and hold the boundaries warmly, fairly, and firmly!
Wishing you and your family a fun and safe summer full of exploration and adventure!
Kate Garzón, M.Ed. is a "GPS" for the parents of toddlers through teens! A parent educator and parenting coach who empowers parents to solve frustrating behaviors - and raise great humans - by focusing on relationship-building, understanding development, and skill-building. You can find her at www.guidedparentingsupport.com or on social media @guidedparentingsupport.
